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In the name of all that is holy and/or Disney can someone please explain to me why Martha Stewart gets a European vacation to “rest up” before her incarceration????!!!?!!?!
Okay, how bout why in the hell does Mark David Chapman even becomes eligible for parole? So it’s okay to shoot someone in the head, admit it freely, and be eligible to be back on the streets within 25 years. Well that makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, the bastard is safer right where he is.
There is so much about our justice system that angers me to a point way past boiling. Like, in the state of NJ, you need to be caught DWI several times before you lose your license. But you can do years for being caught with a dime bag of chronic.
Recently a Supreme Court Justice, appointed by Ronald Reagan, stated that Americans need to have more orgies. Crime would be lower. People would be more content. I think we should make this guy president. Immediately.
I have a t-shirt that says “How do you spell political prisoner C-H-A-R-L-E-S-M-A-N-S-O-N.” Charlie never killed. Not one person. He’s the most famous and feared serial killer in our history yet he has never killed a soul. He’ll never, ever get out of jail. Yet those who killed Sharon Tate and others in that infamous August will see freedom before their life ends. A man in NJ who was committed of strangling a baby to death will get 30 years in prison. Is it just me or does all of this not make much sense.
We live in a great country – yes. We have freedom that many others don’t. There is so much available to us. This is the USA. I’m proud and glad that the fates saw it fit for me to be born here. Baseball is great. Apple pies is ok, if it is heated with some ice cream on top. Hot dogs are yummy, despite the indigestion. Our flag is pretty neat. Our National Anthem could use some changing but does anyone really know it anyway. Springsteen is the man. HBO rules. However, justice-wise, I just hate this place. (OH and advertising – can’t forget advertising.)
A person can sue for virtually anything these days. Everything is a law suit. NJ is cited as one of the highest mark ups for medical bills. Why? Doctors need to cover all the insurance they lay out to protect them if they are sued. (Well that and to pay the bills those without coverage can’t – um why is it so hard for citizens to get medical insurance?) God, our afternoon television programming is jammed packed with court shows. And of course there is court tv. ON which we were able to see OJ get off. God bless America.
I’m ranting – probably without much clarity. It sucks to be a citizen and not be able to change anything. It sucks when you have to choose between to Presidential hopefuls and not believe that either will really make this country any better. Everything is politics. Theatrics. Economics. Where does justice fit in?
Sorry for the general rant. I have a headache and must take it out on someone since my boyfriend is not around….
RIP to Rodney Dangerfield. I wasn't one of the bigget fans of his stand-up...but Back to School remains one of the funnest movies of our generation. "Melon, we need ya." |
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Janet Leigh died. Sad that it takes a death for me to finally get back to writing this thing. Oh, and it’s sad that she’d dead.
I feel real bad about this because, as you know, I have possessed an (unhealthy) obsession for her daughter since I was 15 years old. My heart goes out to my friend, Jamie Lee. (listen – she’s a friend in my bizarro universe of surreal convictions.)
Janet Leigh was a brilliant actress. Of course I’m sure most folks couldn’t name 3 movies she starred in. She is mostly known for two things: Tony Curtis and showers gone awry. She got an Academy nod for Psycho – even though she only appeared in Act I of the film. (Did you know that Hitchcock demanded that when the film started, movie theaters refuse to allow any late comers to be seated.) She never took a shower after filming that sequence – which took 7 days. She only took baths. That’s the truth.
I know someone who once took a shower at Anthony Perkins’s house. Yes, this tidbit is entirely irrelevant and doesn’t fit in very well here but I opted to mention it anyway. Deal.
And of course she was one half of Hollywood’s golden couple. Until they divorced. (She is known mostly because of marriage and death. Kind of redundant huh? )
I only own five Janet Leigh DVDs. Psycho, of course. And The Manchurian Candidate – which is one f’n great film. But I always thought her part was pretty useless. I also own The Fog, an early John Carpenter thriller which was historical in that it was the only picture Janet and Jamie Lee appeared in together. (Well, until H20, which had some great inside jokes included Janet driving away in the actual Psycho car and her telling Jamie Lee’s character “I don’t mean to sound motherly.”) And I own Bye Bye Birdie in which she played the character of Rose.
So I know her from two cheesy horror flicks, two classic films – one in which her character seemed pointless and the other she dies in like 25 minutes-, and a campy musical.
The only other Janet Leigh film I could name is Touch of Evil. In which she “looks incredible” (as my boyfriend keeps assuring me.) I’m ashamed of my little knowledge of her work.
Yes, I am also ashamed that I have not written my blog. I have punished myself harshly. And sex has never been so good. |
It’s 3am and I can’t sleep. I’m up. “Up as a pup,” as Felix Unger would say. It’s funny the things that go through your mind when you can’t sleep. It’s never the mundane things like “what color shirt should I wear tomorrow” or “I really need a hair cut.” It’s always the great mysteries like “who am I, why am I here, what is the meaning of life and why is the world obsessed with Paris Hilton??”
Needless to say, I don’t have any of these answers. And to tell you the truth, I really don’t care anymore. It’s funny how quickly life can change over such a short period of time. Less than four months ago I was lamenting over how unhappy I was. Well, I suppose I have been doing that for about 18 years. But I was reaching a point of such utter frustration that I was just pissed off all the time. How could one person be unhappy for so long? How could years of therapy, medication, hospitalization, and tons of sex not have changed a damn thing? Fuck the world, I wanna get off.
Fast forward a few months....I don’t know if I have ever been this happy. Happy - that’s a tough word for me to swallow. I should start with content - or even just less bitchy. In any case, here I am, feeling things I haven’t truly experienced since that Christmas I finally got Nintendo. And the really strange part: it feels kind of natural. Dear God what has become of me?
If Willie is correct and I am just playing a part on the world’s stage, then those first 26 acts can still be a prologue. It’s as if I wrote this character of who I saw myself to be. The character, named Christine, was depressed, unfulfilled, hopeless, and, at times, crazy. (someone might want to double check the comma usage in that one.) And I demanded that the plot ensured this character development. I had to stay miserable, be unhappy and act crazy. So I latched onto the ideas, situations and people who would help me maintain this persona. All because this is how I saw myself to be. The definition preceded the action. I was never learning who I was. I was telling myself who I had to be.
One of my biggest set backs when is comes to writing is this: I don’t edit. I expect everything to come out perfect the first time. Come on, how realistic is this? Everyone has to edit. Everything should be edited. I need to apply this to my writing. But mostly, I needed to grasp this concept and apply it to myself. Things aren’t always perfect the first time. And that’s okay. Changes can be made. Tweaking can be done. Yes, there are certain guidelines to follow. After all, commas cannot be distributed at will. You can’t alter the spelling of a word. You have to work within the parameters you are given. But there is always artistic license. There is a world of possibilities.
I finally edited the character. I erased what I thought was carved in stone. And blew the shavings away in a simple exhale. With it floated preconceived notions, deep regrets, and twisted definitions of feelings. The ease of it all was surprising. And trust me, I am not going to play Mad Libs with my life again. I’m not picking any adjectives, nouns or verbs before I see the sentence. There are plenty of blanks which will fill themselves in with time.
I don’t know if I needed to go through everything I have to get to this point. I think I am ready to subscribe to the theory that “everything happens for a reason.” But even that doesn’t matter. I’ve spent too long a time living in the past. Editing that is impossible, so why dissect it?
What I should have realized a long time ago is this: I am the center of my universe. Come on, it’s true. Everyone is really. Life, as I know it, does not exist outside the scope of what I think, feel and experience. Right now the great wonder of life for me is simply staring at a monitor and typing what comes to mind. Yes, there is so much more going on outside. People are dying. People are suffering. People are loving. People are celebrating. People are mourning. But all of this is happening without my knowledge. Not that all of that is not important. But the scope of my life’s awareness is this room and the breeze on my legs and strain on my eyes. This is life. Is it overwhelming or interesting - no. But it is mine and only mine. And, to my final understanding, I have some control over it. Friends come and go. Situations change. Love grows and fades. And so on. But throughout everything - the common denominator is me. I’m just a small speck on the globe - but to me it’s my entire universe. I’m significant to life as I know it. I am life as I know it.
So back to those great mysteries... Who am I? - a constant work in progress Why am I here? - to be the best me I can be What is the meaning of life? - simply, to live it Why is the world obsessed with Paris Hilton? - well that will remain a puzzle
I’m not sure if I can sleep now but I am going to try. I honestly don’t know if any of this resembled any sort of coherent sense or if I really got across what I was trying to say. In any case, thanks for listening all the same. (and no, I’m not going to edit this - but you have probably gathered that by now.) |
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“Just when you think all is wrong with the world….. Heather Locklear is back on TV.”
--- Melissa Cheplic |
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Aug. 27th, 2004 @ 11:16 am
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I know I haven't written. Stop sending me hate mail, people. Read the Onion or something.
Actually, I have actually been focusing my writing energies elsewhere. Now, before you get all with the jealousy, let me explain. Our good metro-sexual loving friends at Bravo TV have come up with yet another brilliant concept. As if "Boy meets Boy" and "Celebrity Poker" weren't the BEST concepts ever, BRAVO, with the help of Sean Hayes of "Just-Jack" fame, are ready to revive the life of the television sitcom. How exactly are they going to do this? With a reality show of course!
http://bravotv.com/Situation:_Comedy/
I hate the idea of another reality show BUT we have to admit that we are in a current time of crisis. We need to SAVE THE SITCOM.
Television, my first and only true love, was once the classiest of mistresses. She had style, grace and silky, raw sex appeal heightened by urbane wit and urban sensibility. Oh, she was bawdy alright, but with class, talent, and oodles of character. She hinted. She teased. She entertained. She wowed. She stirred.
Now, she is nothing but a 42nd Street whore with cheap implants working the GOP Convention and wasting her incredible talent and ability to do such good on the most simple minded Americans with their closeted fetishes.
The Honeymooners, MASH, The Odd Couple, Cheers, Family Ties, Taxi, All in the Family, Maude, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Bob Newhart Show, Roseanne, Seinfeld, and so many more. Television was once Gypsy Rose Lee.
Survivor, Fear Factor, Big Brother, American Idol, CSI: Boise, and on and on. Television is now, Lola, a former showgirl with faded feathers in her hair.
The death of the situation comedy is imminent. Friends is over. Frasier is over. Great shows like Sports Night and Freaks and Geeks can’t last past two seasons. Yes, we still have the Simpsons but now Harry Shearer has announced that he is throwing in the towel which leaves little hope for the series (which honestly only puts out one funny episode for every four bad ones.) But still – a lousy episode of the Simpsons will make you laugh out loud more times the best episode of King of Queens. This is what television is coming to, shows about hot chicks and their fat husbands. Or worse – a Charlie Sheen/Jon Cryor comedy?? Next you’ll tell me Jason Bateman is back on TV…. What? What’s next: Charles is STILL in Charge? Someone please riddle me this: WHEN THE HELL DID REBA MCENTIRE BECOME A COMEDIC ACTRESS??
Okay I am calming down. I can go on for hours. My point here is this: thank you Bravo for recognizing that someone needed to take an initiative to save the sitcom. I AM going to write the winning script and soon my sweet mistress will be ….. okay this whole analogy didn’t work at all. I think I am just horny or something. SO why the fuck am I writing this? |
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